Last summer I went on an awesome hiking trip to the Adirondacks with some friends. We hiked the Dix range, which meant six mountains in one day. The day went off without a hitch - perfect weather, amazing company, lots of laughter, breathtaking views, and a celebratory bottle of wine as we lounged at our campsite at the end of the day. Oh wait, there was one hitch: my knee crapped out and I limped down the final mountain in tears and excruciating pain.
Though I have countless fond memories of that fateful day, the tangible repercussions of the trip still persist. Strenuous exercise generally results in quite a bit of pain. Now, this post isn’t a sob-fest to garner pity for my poor, crippled body. I don’t expect ya’ll to feel bad for me that I can’t fully enjoy my last season of college tennis. That I can no longer run and hike with the ease that I used to. That life as I know it is over. That I’m sentenced to live the remainder of my sad, pointless days as a pathetic, bed-ridden invalid. JK. But seriously, pity me.
Just kidding, that [serious overly-dramatized description of my condition] really isn’t the point of this. Throughout the past year I’ve sat out of a lot of matches and games, waiting for my knee to heal. I was talking with my roommate the other night after an intramural hand-ball game in which my knee was particularly painful, and I finally came to the realization that that may never happen. I may never be able to enjoy the things that I love to the same level without some degree of pain - but that doesn’t mean that I can’t enjoy them. I need to throw myself back into the things that I really love doing, and to learn, as my roommate stated, to “live with the pain.”
This concept of “living with the pain” got me thinking on a more emotional/spiritual level. And no, this is not a profound, perfect metaphor drawn from my knee injury experience, it’s merely the meandering path that my mind took to get to where it ended up.
I’ve had some pretty deep conversations in the past year with several friends about the topic of living with the pain that enters and persists in our lives, most specifically from causes that are not of our own doing. There are certain events or situations that occur in some people’s lives that are so tragic or crippling that, even with the peace that the Lord is able to speak into those situations, will always be a source of pain. That person will always have to live with some degree of pain pervading their lives.
As I was discussing this with one friend, she shared that she actively hates Romans 8:28. (And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God...) “I love God,” she said, “but I’ve been through things that make me hate this verse. I just don’t see how it can possibly be true.” And I think that this is a question that many christians grapple with. How can someone who has to live with pain every day still believe in a God that claims to work everything for our good if we just love him enough? And to some degree, I agree with her. I hate how this verse is interpreted; I hate how it gets thrown around so blithely. But I don’t hate this verse, because I think it speaks profound truth to the reality that we will live with pain.
Pain is in integral part of this fallen world in which we live. We will undergo hardships and we will be be hurt and we will experience pain that, to some degree, will follow us all the days of our lives. And I don’t think that God promises to make everything “good.” But he can and does bring or work good out of pain. I’ve seen growth and healing and redemption brought to people that would never have reached the places that God brought them to without experiences that, in and of themselves, could never be called good. There are some things that I could never call “good,” and that I would erase if I could - but I can see where God has worked unimaginable beauty from the ashes of pain and tragedy. That is the God we serve, that is the beauty of His promise, and that is the blessing that flows from embracing a life of living with the pain.
I've always had a really hard time with the idea of pain... especially the kind that doesn't seem to have any reason. I appreciate what the Bible says about suffering for doing good. And, while I don't like it, I can at least understand why I suffer if I do something stupid. But most of the pain in the world (at least that I've seen) doesn't seem to be directly from either of those things. It's [seems to be] just random. So I guess you're right that we need to have faith in God working that pain to some purpose that we can't see, but it's hard for me sometimes.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, I really enjoyed hanging out last night :) It's too bad Corning and Rochester aren't closer.
ReplyDeleteI had a really fun time too! We'll have to make it happen more often :)
ReplyDelete